On the table next to the bed he saw two aspirins, a glass of water, and a note from his wife, saying "Honey, there is a hot breakfast waiting for you in the kitchen. Love you lots!
He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order; spotlessly clean. He quickly notices that the rest of the house looks extremely clean.He decides to get up and stumbles into the bathroom where notices he has a very swollen and very black and blue eye.
After shaving, he goes to the kitchen as he passes the hall he sees that the mirror is broken.
At this point he is very perplexed.
He realizes that his son is in the kitchen and is eating his huge breakfast. The man asks the son "What happened last night, why is the house clean, and my eye black?"
The son replies "Well, last night dad you came home drunk off your ass, stumbled into the mirror, broke it, and hit your head on the bedroom doorknob.
Mom helped you to bed, and as she was trying to get your pants off you kicked her away, and said "get off me lady, I'm married!"