Sunday, June 19, 2011

Feeling emo? Let me help...


Old best friends

as a response to the above entry, DiggerW wrote:

Growing up, we had a dog (Digger) and a cat (Gus). Both were healthy, and for years they were best friends. My dog always wore a collar, and I guess we took for granted the sound that it made when he was walking around. Anyway, years after his death, in the garage we found his collar and my brother picked it up... it made the sound that surprised us all with its sheer familiarity -- it was just as if Digger was walking into the room. Not three seconds later, Gus the cat tore into the garage, excitedly looking for his old best friend.

I love my pets, but I've never cried nearly as hard over them as I did that day.

Best Piggy Bank in the World

I have to get it now!!:



Everybody is "Normal"

SOURCE:  VirusComix.Com

Monstrous Discrepancies

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I Am So Starving

I Am So Starving

Oh, my God, I am so starving. I swear, if I don't get something to eat in like two minutes, I am going to die.
I cannot believe how completely famished I am. Why do we have to wait for Tyler to get home from soccer practice? I want to eat now. It's almost 6:15.
I didn't even get to eat lunch today. Erica and I had to sign up for kickline tryouts at noon. We got to the cafeteria way late, and we weren't about to stand in line with the sophomores. All I had was a Twix and half a bag of Fritos. Plus, the stupid machine was out of Diet Coke.
No, I did not still have those carrot sticks left at lunch. I ate them all after second period. Duh.
Did you hear that? I can totally hear my stomach making these weird growling noises. I think I'm going to faint.
Please, please, please let me eat now so I can go up to my room--I have a ton of people to call tonight. It's so lame how you make us all wait to eat dinner together. Erica always gets to eat by herself in the living room with the TV on.
If we're going to wait this long for Tyler, he has to load the dishwasher. I did it last night, and it was totally nasty because you made that lasagna, and I had to scrape all the gunky cheese off the pan.
I am so totally starving. You know, it's against the law to treat your kids like this. You could get thrown in jail by the social-services people for this kind of abuse.
Oh my God, what are you taking out of the oven? Is that, like, salisbury steak? I could seriously puke just looking at that. You actually expect me to eat that? Yeah, right. Like I'm really gonna put that in my mouth. I'll be in my room if I get any phone calls.
Ugh. I swear, I could just die.


I Am So Starving

My God, I am starving. If I do not find something to eat soon, I will surely die.
Hunger consumes my life. My young body is hunched and weak, as if I were an old man. Some days, I pass the time by counting my bones.
I would walk 100 miles through the desert to reach a handful of millet. The sight of a sparrow carcass would make my mouth water, if only I were not too dehydrated to salivate. I have not eaten a full meal since the last rain, which caused a few precious patches of field grass to sprout. Soon, there will be none of us left.
I am so very, very hungry. I grow thinner and thinner, as my body starts to digest its very self. The last thing I ate was a small lizard. This was nine days ago. I gave half of it to my only remaining brother. I did this to return a favor: Last month, he discovered a piece of tree bark and shared his bounty with me. Unfortunately, my body was so unaccustomed to food, I was soon doubled over in pain, as a flood of liquid shot from my bowels. Ever since then, my rectum has protruded from my anus. My lower intestines have begun to push their way out, as well.
They say it is almost the new year, but I do not know if I will live to see it. My stomach is swollen as if I were pregnant. I joked with my brother about this yesterday, rubbing my bloated belly and calling it "my little one." My brother did not laugh. He lowered his head and cried.
My legs are like sticks and my eyes nearly sightless. I am careful not to allow myself to daydream about the harvest feasts of my youth, for my weak heart might race and burst in my chest. Those who are still alive have taken to swallowing dirt and rocks in an attempt to stop the hunger pains. Oh, God, why are we made to suffer so?
My only distraction from the constant, gnawing hunger is the chill that runs through my bones. Even in the sweltering heat, I am cold. Perhaps I will soon die of pneumonia. This would finally quell the pangs of hunger. I long to live, but, even more, I long to die.


Sunday, June 12, 2011

Ugly Thoughts

from "The Twits" by Roald Dahl illustrated superbly by Quentin Blake

Sunday, June 05, 2011

Help: I'm in love with my best friend, I want to tell her.

I'll try to keep this short.

I've been acquainted with her since the 9th grade, but really started to get to know her in the 11th grade, and we became best friends. But, this whole time, I've been head-over-heels in love with her, and don't know how to tell her. It's really, really, bad. I've not really had many relationships before, but she is, sometimes literally, all I can think about. She's had boyfriends and whatnot (has one now), and I just don't know what to do; I can't get her out of my head.

I know I should move on if she's not interested, but I don't know how to talk to her about it (assuming I have the balls to). I've turned down prospective flings/relationships the past two years or so because of her, while she was dating other guys. Looking back on it now, I sort of feel like an idiot.. :/

We graduate from high school tomorrow.

I don't know when to talk to her about it.. I start at one University June 27th, and she starts fall at another university across the state a little in the fall, so there's some time to talk between now and then.

Hah, I even had this convoluted plan to email her "as an anon friend," telling her that this fake email person has noticed how much Captian_Throwaway likes her, and that it might be ruining his chances of other relationships, maybe trying to get her to confront me. I'm so lame lol.

I just feel like I need to get off my shoulders and out of my head before I start college, or it'll affect me there just like it did in high school.

I don't know! Help me, please!

Response by Lieutenant TR:

Captian_Throwaway, please for the love of God read this. I made my own throwaway to respond to you. Reddit has helped me out occasionally with stuff like this, and so here's my attempt to pay back everything.

I was in your exact situation about a year ago. I'm soon to be a soph in college. Met a girl in 9th grade. I was a fat loser she dated douchebags I became her friend I hid my face when she and bf kissed it out near me and suffered in silence etc. I had intrusive thoughts to the point of seeking counseling about her. I visualized smashing her bf's face when I went to the gym to drop forty pounds in six months. I put songs that reminded me of her on my workout playlists. I went with her as a platonic buddy to a ton of shit.

That sounds pathetic and it was. God I am glad it's over now.

So I know what the fuck you're talking about. So please please for the love of God listen to me when I say SHUT THE FUCK UP

Just shut the fuck up. When that little voice says "YOU HAVE TO TELL HER" just keep your goddamn fucking mouth zipped.

Here's why. You need to put a little distance from the situation and ask yourself a couple of questions. Why do you want to tell her? Is it because you hope something will happen? If I read your post correctly she's not single. Do you think she's going to break up with her boyfriend for you now? Even if she becomes single tomorrow and suddenly decides to date again--do you think she's going to go for you right before she heads off to college?

The real reason you want to tell her is because it's something really important to you that you want to get off your chest and get some kind of closure for your ideal. But the problem is that it doesn't exist outside of your own head.This girl in all likelihood thinks of you only as a friend--and how good of a friend is someone who you're keeping such a huge secret from? You need to let this go.
Hah, I even had this convoluted plan to...

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE ARE YOU 12? No. You're 17 or 18. Or hell maybe 19. It's time to man the fuck up about this. You're going to college. There will be other girls. I repeat THERE WILL BE OTHER GIRLS. And you will get over this if you keep it inside your head. But if you let it out you'll have to live with the consequences.

Overview: Been where you are but not anymore. SHUT THE FUCK UP.

I'm Not Dead Yet.

My father was initially diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2000 or 2001. His doctor gave him six months. He went home, curled up on the couch, and stayed there for two days. On the third day he sat up, announced to his wife "I'm not dead yet" (probably not in the Monty Python voice), and proceeded to play guitar, watch football, and get drunk.

Through several months of treatment and testing, his cancer went into remission, and he lived - happily and healthily - until new tumors were discovered in 2008.

He died early Christmas Day, 2009. Less than a week before his death, he was performing with his band at a local pub - just as he had for all his adult life. He never stopped doing what made him happy, and when he passed he was surrounded by people who loved him, loved being around him, loved the person he was and the person he inspired others to be.

His last words to me were "What are YOU so worried about?" as I helped him back into his hospital bed. He never stopped joking around.

He fought cancer with hope. He didn't hate what his life had become. He didn't spew bile about the illness all the time. Yes, he bitched occasionally - he had every right to. Yes, he had days where he was in pain or couldn't eat. Yes, the treatments were often just as bad, if not worse, than the effects of the cancer itself. None of this mattered to him though. He just enjoyed his life, as much as he possibly could, until his time was up.

He was probably the strongest person I will ever know, and it's not because he was strong in the face of cancer. It's because he had the courage to live his life the way he wanted.

We're all dying right now. Every one of us. I could die tomorrow. You might feel robbed of the vague promise of longevity, but really you've been given permission to infuse your life with all the joy, enthusiasm, and reckless abandon most people wistfully reserve for their retirement.

You don't have to wait for the right job, the right person, the right season, the right place. You've been granted the right to live your life the best way you can, right now. And there are thousands of people here cheering you on.

So, do the things you've always wanted to do. Or just do the things that make you happy. Fill your time with enjoyment and appreciation. We should all be living our lives this way, because we could die at any moment.

Be kind to yourself, stay hopeful, and love what you have. My thoughts are with you.