This may sound out of the blue, but it is what I want to say: Ask yourself, What is the best part of you? What is the most alive, creative, singing part of you? What part of you really shines? Where is it that you feel most alive, most sure of yourself, in control — the place where forces greater than you seem to come into play and you work in tandem with them? In what situations do you achieve flow? Concentrate on these things for a while.
Train yourself to take note of your attractions. When you are attracted to something — clothes, or music, or ideas — give yourself permission to investigate. I suggest this because when we are dysfunctional about money, when things have been withheld from us, when we have been betrayed, we tend to believe that there is nothing in life we can have; everything is too expensive or beyond our means, or will be snatched away from us. So we impoverish ourselves. There are ways to get the things you truly need, the things that will complete you. This sounds a little mystical, but it need not be at all. It is as simple as saying, Hey, I like to play a round of golf on the weekends. “Normal” people do this all the time. It’s just those of us who grew up in strange and mysterious dysfunctional houses who think we can’t have any of those things.
You can have the things you want. Allow yourself to feel sad about the things that have happened. Allow yourself to work for the things you want.
Allow yourself.
by Cary Tennis
