life is beautiful

lg gave me something to think about:

Diet Regimen ni Jeni

My in-laws dropped by at dahil wala nang other interest/hobby ang pamilya kundi kumain, we literally ate out almost everynight at inubos na namin lahat ng buffets at lauriats. Japanese, Chinese, Thai, Italian, American - you name it we've done it. Not only that, nag-sale ang mga supermarkets so we have weeks worth of sausages, hamburgers and tv dinners. Our fridge is so stocked up we can survive a nuclear holocaust.

Now that Jeff's wedding is about a month away, ano pa nga ba, it's crunch time: kailangan magpapayat para kumasya sa lintek na gown. And now that I am at it, I might as well share to whomever may care my diet regimen:

1. Drink Coffee and Listen to a lot of intense Punk Rock
Why: The heartbeat adapts to the pace of whatever music one's listening to. So, the faster the drums, the better. Drink more coffee to aggravate the palpitation. Can you imagine the amount of calories burned if one does Tae-bo with an Offspring soundtrack?!? (Pero I'm too tamad for Tae-bo so I'm doing the other half of the equation)
Cons: Medyo energizer-bunny kakalabasan from being too keyed up and medyo mahirap mag-concentrate.

2. Sleep a lot - medyo mahirap kasi nag-coffee from #1, and the trick is balance.
Why: Sleep increases leptin, the hormone that suppresses appetite. Sleep lowers cortisol, the stress hormone - the culprit in increasing blood sugar and insulin levels and results in fat deposits in the abdomen.
Cons: Tatawagin kang tamad ng asawa mo.

3. Mag-isip ng kung ano-ano - basta wag stressful stuff kundi you will ruin #2.
Example (para sa mga ayaw mag-isip): Deciphering what Eddie Vedder is singing in the new Pearl Jam album without the aid of the lyrics sheet. Tapos, analyze and try to guess what meaningful message he is trying to impart. Finally, memorize. O diba?
Why: The brain consumes energy at 10 times the rate of the rest of the body per gram of tissue. The average power consumption of a typical adult is 100 Watts and the brain consumes 20% of this making the power of the brain 20 W.
Cons: Now you know why when back when you were a student, payat ka, and now that you're underpaid and working like a horse, tumataba ka. So, force yourself to think dammit!

4. Watch Fear Factor - this is a no brainer. If you don't know why, you just failed tip #3. Masarap bang kumain ng fried chicken while watching the desperate constestant barf after eating the cow's uterus dipped in rat's blood topped with worms and crunchy cockroach? Hm??
Alternative: pwede ring CSI as long as there's lots of dead body shots
Cons: Networks only air the show once a week.

5. Fidget - why excercise when you can be a weirdo and have fun irritating your: a. relatives b. co-workers c. boss.
Why: Fidgeting is the reason behind "thin" couch potatoes and "fat" couch potatoes. People who have "high metabolism" are just, actually, fidgeters.

There. Now you know. If you have a tip, I'm all ears.

Dylan's Progress Report at 2.75 yo

He can:

1. Identify vowels, produce appropriate phonetic sounds of all the alphabets
2. Read and spell words with three letters
   
3. Solar System: can identify object and give brief description. Ex: "Uranus, it spins on its side" or "Milky Way, our galaxy"
4. Eat like a civilised human being with either spoon or fork (but not both)
5. Identify weird body parts like the clavicle, pelvis, the phalanges etc.
6. Soccer (can chase and kick ball while running at full speed)
7. Semi-complete a 25-pc puzzle (75% complete)
8. Navigate around toddler websites and play games unaided (I am now regretting this as he's hogged the computer every chance he gets, thank goodness we never gave him a chance to figure out the tv remote)
9. Jump from heights around 3 ft. (much to my horror)
10. Semi-logical reasoning, ex: dylan remarked "papa is sick", when asked why, turns out he's observed papa has many "ouchies" (work-related minor cuts), when asked what to do, dylan said "put bandage"
11. Prediction ex. he's observed that buds are coming out of trees, when asked why, he said, "it's spring, trees have leaves"

Things that Dylan wanted me to do:

1. "Mama, I want to grow please."
2. "It's hot, I want snow."

Others:

1. He's excruciatingly shy and won't greet people unless prodded
2. Increasingly showing streaks of rebellion from food choice to clothes to activity
3. Bad conversationalist - always out of tangent. ex. "Dylan, are you a good boy or a bad boy?" and his reply was "No, I'm a happy boy".